Back in town and back to business as usual. Last night around 7pm I was at a certain behemoth coffee franchise that shall remain nameless drinking an iced coffee on the patio when a woman who had been sitting behind me grabbed my shoulder and said, "I could use your help." I looked up at her just as she turned her back to me and said frantically, "Please get this bat off my back!", revealing a large grey BAT, hanging upside-down in the middle of her back which was now directly in my face. I jumped up startled, saying something to the effect of "oh my!" I swatted at the bat with my book for a moment while the woman jumped up and down and covered her head. When that didn't work I attempted to pry the bat off her back with my bookmark, all the while holding her shirt away from her back so the bat couldn't bite her. She started screaming that she was going to take her shirt off, so I ramped up my efforts and managed to pry the bat off of her, just as she litterally ripped her shirt off, sending the bat, and all of her buttons flying and leaving her in her bra, dancing around in front of about 20 people. Seeing that the bat was off of her shirt I quickly held it up for her to cover herself but it took some convincing for her to believe that the bat was no longer on it. People began insisting that I catch the bat, in case it had rabies, so I used my book to nudge it against the wall until someone offered me a cup. I corralled the bat under the cup and held it there with a rock while someone got me the number for the local police department. An officer eventually showed up, insisting that animal control wasn't available on weekends. He was clueless so I got a big paper bag and had him scoop the cup into. He asked, "should I kill it or let it go?" I stated the obvious, that it probably had rabies so no, he shouldn't let it go and he agreed. Then he started collecting the woman's information (she had been hiding in her car until we got the bat contained), and she thanked me for "saving her life", so I said no problem and left, as I was supposed to be meeting Zack & Co. for dinner and drinks at Casa Carlos.


Erica said...

Zowie, Batman! You are a hero!

If you start developing mysterious abilities such as ultrasonic hearing, flying from building to building and leaving guano piles beneath eaves, perhaps you had more contact with the bat than you thought.

Sussana said...

What an awesome story. Good for you. I think that lady did very well under the circumstances. And you did the knight in shining armor thingy.